31 October

Halloween night really turned out to be super fun, despite the rain (at least it was warm!) The oldest Ninja left to trick or treat with friends (really, his years are numbered), and the youngest and parents started out at a neighborhood party with some adult beverages and snacks and then headed out to do the whole neighborhood together.  Then back home to dump and count and make the trades.  Really, T got enough to feed a small country.  Love our neighbors and loved this night.  Hopefully,  the beginning of many fun holidays to come.  Happy Halloween!

30 October

Halloween Eve......our pumpkins revealed!

29 October

Today....Glimpses of the "normal" bedtime routines around here.  Reading books before bed, always The Berenstain Bears (they have great lessons).  Always,  having to take a turn in the blue chair (and sometimes disagreeing about whose turn). Always in the boys room. This is the stuff I want to remember.  This is the good stuff.

26 October

Saturday.
After a much needed play-date for a best friend re-connection this morning for the boy, we took  our better late than never trip to the Pumpkin Valley farm.  We made our way through the corn maze, picked out three perfect pumpkins (slim pickings in the patch this year!), shot the corn shooter, petted the animals, ate the kettle corn, pumpkin whoopie pies and hot chocolate, jumped on the giant jumping pillow and slid down the giant slide.  The brisk temps made it feel so fall like (gray skies November like) and minus the argument about Halloween costumes on the way home it was a really, really good day.

Inspiring Links for your weekend.

Tell a friend you are a good mama
Missing Adam
For Elizabeth and Luke
this week in my Garden
40 non processed snacks
things only 80s kids understand

25 October

This moment.

24 October

Thursday via Instagram 

And the real life the pictures don't show.....What a whirlwind week it has been. Just one of those weeks when it feels like 50 bombs are dropped on you and it just keeps coming, and you keep trudging, and surviving.   Feels like any little thing might make me jump right out of my skin.  Out there, just a reminder to never take for granted your kids that just go to school come home with no major issues.  Its painful wondering as a parent what you must have done wrong day after day to cause these problems.  There is a process of grieving that needs to take place to come to an acceptance of what is vs. what you expected.  To change the what you have into the what you always wanted.  There really are no more words than that.

23 October

Wednesday via Instagram

We have a new obsession in the house, the rainbow loom rubber band bracelets. Thank you Gammie!!!

22 October

Tuesday via Instagram....

Loved getting into the classroom again, meeting the class, seeing one of my favorite teachers, meeting a new principal. I thought it would be sad, with my boy not there, but it was surprisingly upbeat and fun. Just what I needed today.

21 October

Sunday...a super fun Girl Scout Halloween party with her new troop....these girls are awesome.

20 October

I can’t repay the lessons That you taught when I was small.

Or give you gift for gift The daily treasures I recall...

I can’t return encouragement And loving words of praise.

In quite the way you did for me Through all my childhood days.

But there is one gift that I can give, It’s all the love you’ve earned.

For love is what you always taught... And love is what I learned.

Happy 40th (wow, a big one!!) Anniversary Mom and Dad!!!

19 October

I heart Saturdays.

Especially October Saturdays.

Today....there are moments of normal with the boy. Mom is cleaning the house in her pjs and putting away our last farm share. Dad is mowing the lawn (and the new lawn looks amazing!!) the boys are playing games and the girl is dancing. A brand new Harry potter obsession has begun...

for the moment, My cup is overflowing.

18 Ocober

17 October

L Update.....

Yesterday we had an appointment with the neurologist.  FINALLY.....a doctor who can help.  No offense, but our regular pedi did a bad job managing this illness.  L prob should have been hospitalized, and seen a specialist way before this.
He is a very lax, laid back guy....that approach didn't work well this time....just sayin. He prob should have never been sent back to school.  He should have never told us to take him home and wait and see if he feels better in a few days.  Anyway, this boy has had a VERY rough time managing his emotions ever since he has been physically better. That's all the details I'll share in this space, but it's been a very stressful time in our families life.   It has been way beyond what normal parenting can handle.  He will have a scan of his brain done and is on a benign medication that helps calm the hormones that cause his emotions to be out of control.  It's working, but he's still home and afraid of school.  Dealing with the school and having two kids with a "plan"  feels overwhelmingly unfair and unbelievable at times.  Then, I wake up and realize that this is what my life is right now and It is no one else s job jut mine to be in the driver's seat of this.  (#jesustakethe wheel!) I have been so grateful to my family (who keep calling to check in, giving me a shoulder to cry on  AND coming over).....my friends (who meet me for coffee, take our dog for the weekend at the last minute  and give me a shoulder to cry on), My coworkers.....who keep switching and covering for me.  My new babysiiter....who hasn't quit yet.  Yes, I couldn't do it without you, really it takes an army.

15 October

The fall Garden....

SO they garden beds have been totally neglected (haven't even been out there in two months).  So the little boy and I put the beds to rest today for the winter, and found a few surprises out there! The raspberries, HUGE pumpkin and carrot, and a few straggly tomatoes and peppers.  Before we know it the snow will be again covering the frozen ground in this space and well be sledding down the hill right next to where our summer food grew..  Soon we'll be tucked inside next to our fire, thumbing trough catalogs and dreaming of next year, of doing it better.   Always doing it better.  To everything there is a season

14 October

Today.....

My Boy completed a 20 mile bike ride to raise money with members of his 6th grade class for those affected by HIV.  It was a beautiful day and the ride was amazing right by the ocean.  So proud of you T!

12/13 October

The Weekend Lens.....Attitash resort, New Hampshire

WE made it!  The trip we planned months ago to celebrate the birthday weekend.  We got to do the super fun mountain slide...TWICE, mountain coaster and jumping pillow.  WE got to go for a walk in the woods.  WE got to swim in the totally awesome heated pool and hot tub.  We got to eat dinner out in some of our favorite places.  WE shopped a tiny bit.  We saw some beautiful fall foliage.  T and J hiking "up the cut" 

AND....for the story that the pictures don't tell....

We almost didn't go, in fact we were in the ER on Friday with L (only way to get a quick appt. with a neurologist)

When we did decide to go we were rushed and packing trough the tears of finding out that L was not going to be allowed in school until we iron out some details with him medically,

We got there much, much past bedtime.  

waiting over an hour and a half in the slowest line ever for the mountain slide (no wonder they put the "beer window" right there)

One really bad meltdown and a few more little ones. (stuff that is totally out of the control of regular parenting)

Grumpy faces and mean words on the "fun" family walk.

The Two full cups of apple juice spilled everywhere at dinner after waiting 45 minutes for a table.

Needing to order a special hot chocolate wherever we went.  

Yeah, so not the best family vacation ever, but still glad we went. 

11 October

This moment.

10 October

Today.....my 39th birthday.  Although it's hard to wrap my head around what life is right now, I am so grateful to be blessed with another year.  My adult birthdays in the last decade haven't always been the best.  Sewer spill accidents, illnesses and disability.  Our fall went by this year again without a notice, and were on the doorstep of winter.  Well, here's looking ahead to happier times, to 40 and totally living it up next year!

9 October

From the big 9th birthday party, I want to remember......

How a simple little party that we threw together at the last minute with just two of her "bestest" friends was the best party ever.
Little Girl Laughs and giggles
Hugs, lots of hugs
Lots of wanting to pose for pictures together
The salads, yummy pizza and brownie sundaes.
Legos, Legos and rubber band bracelets
How the girls said that their Girl Scout troop is so much more "fun" with B there.
How she is such a gift.


(and happy Birthday to Kevin today!!)

8 October

Nine.

Oh my.  What can I say......Girl, you are my hero.  I want to live my life just like you do. Hope today is as amazing as you are.   Happy Ninth Birthday pretty Girl, I love you.

5/6 October

Our Weekend.....

Our Boy finished a fundraising 2.8 mile swim, he stayed until the very end.....so proud of him
The Christmas stuff is coming out in the stores, so, so looking forward to the holidays
loving all the color that is popping out in the trees around here.,
loving the new arrangement to our living room
Funny faces from The primary school carnival.
Dance class
A really long work day.
Muddling through some tough stuff all around.

4 October

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

3 October

My Dearest L,

It has been one of the most challenging weeks so far.  This illness has ripped everything that was joyful and good and that made you happy away from you and from us.   I get that.  You are not yourself.  To see You angry and tired and crying uncontrollably like you were last night,  and to see you not want to go to school with the teachers and friends that you love,  it rips my heart open. When the chaos of the day finally ended, I cried, I prayed, I sat by your bed, rubbed your hair  and watched your breathing as you slept saying I love you over and over.  I love you so much. . My love is always there. Always. But in the moments when you're hurting, when you're crying, I tend to feel it most. It's a A tangled ball  in the pit of my stomach. It's hard to breathe.  A love so large and unmeasurable it makes me cry. I was overwhelmed yesterday.  It's so hard that I can't just fix your boo boo with my kisses and a bandaid and send you on your merry way.  I can not control what comes next, but I can promise that I will love you through this and harder things that come our way.  I will be here. Life is messy, luckily we know in our hearts that this is only temporary.   Yesterday is already forgotten, today is a new day and the grown ups have a new plan. Steady the Course.  We will figure this out, we will get help. We will learn and grow and move on.  We can do hard things.  Breathe.  I love you my boy, forever.

Love,
Mommy

2 October

October is Down Syndrome awareness Month.

If you can find a Buddy Walk near you and bring the whole family.....You won't regret it!  B has such unique gifts to offer the world, I wouldn't want to change a thing.  Her smile, her unconditional love, her hugs, her gentleness, her love for sports and for being with her family and friends. .  I believe there will be the opportunity for her to make her life into whatever she wants it to be. Find a way to celebrate all children and their uniqueness today, that's what it's all about.

1 October

Hello October!
A Big Birthday Month around here, so excited to look forward to a little get away and some celebrations.  9 and 39.  Oh my.   We're all waiting patiently to meet a new baby girl (who should be here any day!!) September, I'm so happy to be leaving you behind, sorry.  Here's hoping there are many brighter days ahead.  The weather this fall certainly has been amazing.  Love, Love Love October!