30 September

Loved this one.

Happy Monday!

29 September

We were so excited to FINALLY get apple picking this weekend, our 9th year coming here.  We had a blast as always taking it slow, having a picnic lunch and "taste testing" all the different varieties.  Of course there are our favorite sweet treats for the ride home (Pumpkin whoopie pies and brownies), Love this tradition.

28 September

Notes from our Saturday.....

Little boy IS getting better.......in baby steps,still needing to sleep in the afternoon.  Still having many tired, frustrated meltdowns.  And were working on it, in baby steps, with help.

Meet the big boy's very First STEM (science, technology,engineering and Math) class project.  Napolean Jeffrey Baconator.  He liked that they got to use saws.

Black and white Photos of those three enjoying weekend breakfasts in their PJS.  They never get old.

Photos of these three freshly showered and cuddled on the couch for their once a week movie night.  These never get old.

Getting so much done inside and out.....bushes are trimmed and some plants have been relocated.  We've picked out our new living room colors (area rugs).  We're going out to eat and cooking up on our new big green egg.  

Happy Weekend!

27 September

This moment.

25 September

illness Day 26..... and my Boy is back at home, in bed resting and unable to go to school, yesterday back at the doctors AGAIN (He hates and is really deathly afraid of going to the doctors at this point) only for them to tell us to wait a bit longer, be patient and he will get well again. Thank you so much to the total stranger who rubbed by back in the elevator on the way up to the tenth floor yesterday as I sobbed trying to console my inconsolable, out of control, tired, boy who just didn't want to see another doctor.  All the things we have missed, school, apple picking, cool crisp nights gathering with family and friends (we barely make it to the grocery store), listening to the wonderful piano music he plays at night, him reading, playing soccer, doing homework. I keep telling everyone.....our new babysitter, the ones at work constantly covering for me....that this is not our normal.   We have been through "stuff", lots of "stuff" .  But I can honestly say this has been the hardest month of my life, and while I know it is not the worst it can be, my heart had literally been torn out and ripped into a million pieces.  He's tired, so tired still and angry, and sullen.  I'm so afraid that he will never be the same (he will).  Today, I let him be, I didn't try to make him get up or dressed or do anything I've been pushing him to do to get back to normal.  Just trying to melt into it and accept what is, trying to find the lesson in all of it.  I'm tired and I'm sad and I'm done with all of it.  There's my hard and clear.

24 September

3rd grade open house day!!

23 September

Today......our after school walks in the woods resume,  minus one happy bike riding six year old :(.  He's still much to tired (and gosh this is tearing us to pieces, but more on that later, afternoons and evenings are still really tough right now).    Today the discussions included advocating for one self, how some people's metabolisms are faster than others, and how to try to not hit another person with a stick as you are walking.  Yep, my absolute favorite new ritual of the day.  This is the stuff they are going to remember.  We'll keep going with this. They (and I) love it.

22 September

Sunday.......the Buddy Walk.  A game time decision that little boy was healthy enough to go.  A Game time decision that the skies had cleared.  So glad we did.  Our president said it best when she quoted that "it's not about waiting for the skies to clear......it's learning to dance in the rain.....and no one knows about learning to dance in the rain more than this group, wherever we are on our journey..." and "When a doctor looks at you and says, I think she has Down Syndrome, a million things go through your mind, and none of them look like the unbridled joy that is a buddy walk."  Yes....so right.  thank you to our amazing family and friends who show up and support B and  us year after year.  And to this amazing group of parents: It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes an Army to raise a child with special needs.  Thank you for being my army.

21 September

Saturday Morning Pancake love.  Because usual and ordinary (and three kids sitting at the breakfast table) is the best thing in life......Right now.  Pancakes and Perspective.

Great reading for your weekend....

6 Words You should say today.
African Violet Parenting
School is no place for a reader
Surviving Whole Foods
The pain and beauty of Life's Changes
Pancakes and Perspective

20 September

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

19 September

                             

There are no words to tell you how scary this was, no number to count the number of times we cried and prayed, no words to describe the relief we felt when your fever finally came down, and when you were willing to try to go to school for just an hour.  No words to describe how it felt day after day when our  hopes that "tomorrow" you would be better would be squashed. Life has been on hold.   It's not just one of those illnesses that you get up the next day, jump off the couch and are ready to go.  It's going to take time,and baby steps.   It has been a long haul, but today, even if it is just for a little while, our cup runneth over.  Our smiley, happy, energetic little boy will be back soon.  

17 September

Wow, this month sure is flying by.  Mostly b/c I have been wishing the time away until my boy is better.  Today he rode his bike a little and actually asked for a snack...yes!  We are on our way.  Early this morning We had this girls' first team meeting at her new school.  The report was awesome.  Mrs. K says that she wants to learn, works really hard, wants to do well in school, follows the rules and is very polite!   She has grown leaps and bounds from last year.  It is amazing to see her rise to the occasion for the independence that 3rd grade has required!  She is going to soar!

16 September

Since T's boy sibling playmate has been down for the count, him and B have been playing so much together, the favorite being front yard football (Patriots shirts required).   It has been so great for her (sometimes he lets her get the ball and she's pretty tough if you ask me!) He's a really great big brother to her.  It's so fun to watch them.    Love, Love this.

15 September

Saturday night, Little boy decided he wanted to go out for Pizza, and of course if it meant he was going to walk around and eat we were game! So we went to our favorite flat bread and he made it pretty much through the meal eating one whole piece of his very favorite pizza in the world until his head was on the table.....sigh.  At least it's progress.  Sunday we painted the shed, and cleaned up and donated the rest of the stuff from the yard sale.  We might buy a few new pieces and a new carpet for the living room with the money or save the cash for Christmas shopping.  We will see!  The important lesson learned is to be super conscious of what comes into our home, b/c it is just so much work to get rid of unneeded stuff!

14 September

Today, project clean out the house phase 2. Have a huge yard sale......it went pretty well, although it's a lot of work. We made like $230 so far. Bs former kindergarten teacher took her out for a girls day. I love that she is such a gift to so many people. And as for Lu, he's the same. Still exhausted, weak and in bed. I would do anything for him to feel well again, anything. 

13 September

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Not sure if he will be going back to school anytime soon but he did make it to the open house, and even cracked a little smile....

12 September

New Jobs, new roles.  What I'm learning.

His new Job started in July.  This fall he's going to be traveling every other week.  So, every other week I'm a single Mom.  It's hard, and rewarding and fun and exhausting.  I'm learning to ask for and accept help (not east for me) and I'm so , so grateful for friends who check in, drop by with food and for awesome babysitters.  The first week was the first week of school.  I was all in, did too much and was so,  so tired by the end.  There was so much adjustment all around and schedules that were uncertain.  I wanted the job of two people to be done perfectly by one person.....pretty much impossible.  I'm learning that if there is a chore that needs doing I need to do it right away,  Letting the dishes and the laundry pile up totally overwhelms me.  I don't feel the least it guilty about using paper plates, every night.    I'm learning that when all three are calling my name and I can't do it all, that really, really, stresses me out.  I'm learning that sometimes if I lose it just a little, it's ok (they have heard all the curse words already on the bus, right?), they will forgive me and learn not to push and demand so much.  I'm learning that the best thing is to go to bed just after they go to bed.  I'm learning that i get really, really anxious about one of them missing the bus, because I couldn't possibly drive them to school and get back for the next bus.  I'm learning,  I'm certainly not perfect and I'm tired and grumpy at the end of the day.  I'm learning that I have to, HAVE to have a little time to myself each day, even if it's only 5 minutes.   Especially, when there are so many demanding questions from one sixth grader.  Throw major Sickness, broken toilets, missing work and falling off a bike into the mix and I have to remind myself to breathe and pray.  There's a reason to why I'm being challenged like this right now.  It's so the rest of the year seems so amazingly easy....right?!?!?

11 September

Lu Update:

Yesterday, my boy went to the doctor. He's still so weak and wants to spend most of the day in bed. His fever is pretty much gone now though and he's going to get stronger each day, slowly. Today, he got up and asked to go to lunch! it was the first real meal he has had in almost 2 weeks! Grilled cheese sandwhich and a huge brownie......then it was home for more resting.......

10 September

This girl, right now is totally rocking the third grade ( thank god bc one kid crisis at a time is enough!). She got 100 on her first spelling test. She's keeping track of herself, her schedule and her homework! She's totally obsessed with knowing the weather and her weather apps. She's loving that we rearranged her room a bit to make it more of a bigger girl space, with all the things that she 

loves.  Love this.

9 September

This weekend and today....I have three measly pictures to show for it.

While our little boy still lay in bed with fever and weakness.....we lay too.  And watched movies and listened to music and tried to comfort as best we could.  He's mad at the world right now and I don't blame him. He says, "Mom, I'm all done being strong and brave..."  So that was my cue to force him to get up a little today as his fever goes down a little because at this point it's more about the not eating and constant laying in bed that's causing him to feel badly more than the illness.  This has been the worst, but I'm hopeful that it will be over soon.  We've canceled school, and all activities and adjusted out expectations for this fall, big time.   We will still get out and do all our fun fall stuff, , it will just be starting a little (a lot) later than usual.  In between resting and relaxing and comforting, we've been cleaning, out the attic, basement, bedrooms, every drawer, cabinet  and nook and cranny.  Cause if we can't control when illness comes and goes, we sure can control how our kitchen drawers look!   We have filled half out garage for donations and a yard sale (not sure how one family accumulates all this stuff!)  But Since I'm a fan of only keeping whats beautiful, nostalgic, or useful.  It all has to go.  Progress on both fronts.

6 September

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

4/5 September

Right Now......
Middle School is in full swing.  He LOVES it and it shows.  He's taken on new responsibilities and freedoms.  There's no having to walk in a line everywhere at school.  Books are coming home, he's organizing himself, He's making his own lunch and setting his own alarm, walking to the bus by himself.  Homework and practicing are getting done without reminders.  I got him the boys guide to becoming a teen, a friend recommended it.   He's taking on some new chores at home.  He's gone from not telling me about anything to telling me EVERYTHING.  Constantly chatting about his views and opinions and asking questions.  Always asking questions (most of them I have to Google)..... so curious.  He is totally thriving and happy and I'm so proud of him.  This is big, I could get used to this.

I picked up a new read, saw it on someone's blog and it looked good.  An Adventure story I can get get lost in.  /the fleece pants came out tonight as temps dip into the 40s.  I'm not ready even though I love the crisp cool noights and everything about fall.  I'm not ready for summer to end.  My Girl, She's totally thriving in her new school.  She's so excited to show me every day what she brings home.  She's doing homework.  Her teachers have expectations for her, she's learning, and they are all over it.  It's amazingly refreshing to be so hands off for the first time.  She is totally thriving and happy and chatty and I'm so proud of her.

 My Boy is on day 5 of a fever, stomach ache, headache and feeling complete exhaustion (can't walk from couch to table).  He is so sick.  He's eaten nothing, hasn't brushed his teeth or changed his clothes.  He can't sit up because it hurts, he walks funny, and he's a bit delirious.  There's nothing I can do, my heart is just breaking.  Even though they expect a full recovery in 7-10 days, I have no idea how long it will take.   I'm so worried about what the long term effects may be.  I really hope he turns a corner soon.  I cry and I pray and I cry quietly some more.  One week ago he was a happy smart,  thriving little boy who just finished his first day of first grade.   We were riding our bikes and running together.  I'm so, so scared that he will never be the same.  All three children of mine have had a major health struggle at least once in their young lives. Nothing like having perspective slapped back into you time and time again.   It's more than one mama can handle.  There is no normalcy right now.  No real thinking beyond this day.  No making plans.    Yep, totally feeling sorry for myself at this moment.   Please, If you are reading this send him a prayer.  How totally unfair all of this is. Hopefully soon it will all be a distant memory.

3 September

So I Sooo apologize if you are getting this story from this blog and not from me personally but....I have to get some sleep and am heading to bed ASAP. usually I try to keep focus on the joy and privately leave some of the other stuff out, but sometimes life happens and you need to write about it.   The short of it is we spent 6 hrs today at the emergency room with L getting some IV fluids, blood tests and a spinal tap. Luckily, he was such a trooper And there was a lot of bravery all around,  not to mention an unlimited movie list and Popsicles. Sometimes crappy stuff is part of being human I told him.  Luckily I've been to a hospital a few times ( even with a child) before so systems and all the waiting never surprises me.  Turns out that he has viral meningitis and can rest  and recover at home for about a week and doesn't need to stay overnight.  It's not super contagious so he can go back to school as soon as he's feeling better and is fever free. L, mama is so proud of your bravery today and I'm so happy to be home. 

Labor Day and Family (August 31-September 2)

This weekend we went to visit J and I's beautiful new home!  We made some awesome memories with the cousins, swimming, playing just Dance, legos, games,  and having a "sleepover"  The grownups worked on a bit of house organizing, building a new master closet, hung out and ate great meals! Perfect for a rainy weekend.  The torrential rain and the traffic (going the other way) on the way home were like nothing we had ever seen.   Lu was feeling a bit under the weather (and still is, poor guy missing the second day of school!).  It will be great to have so many more of these family times over the next few years.  I put together a little slideshow below of my favorite pics from the weekend....enjoy!