10 songs on My summer Playlist:
1.) Cheap Thrills....Sia
2.) Hell No.....Ingrid Michaelson
3.) Can't stop the Feeling.....Justin Timberlake
4.) Ride....Twenty-one Pilots
5.) Lost Boy.....Ruth B.
6.) Me too.....Meghan Trainer
7.) Pillow Talk.....Zayne
8.) No.....Meghan Trainer
9.) Send My love......Adele
10.)Better Place....Rachel Platten
What's on your list?
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Thursday, June 23, 2016
10 things Thursday
recently we had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was, List your families strengths. We all went over it together during family meeting and here is what we came up with. (and no it's not easy to practice all these things every day....we are a work in progress)
1.) We are strong Advocates for each other
2.) We are close with extended family, we get to spend lots of time with our cousins.
3.) We are active in the community
4.) We work on our kindness and thinking outside ourselves every day
5.) We have High expectations for everyone
6.) We teach and practice gratitude (three good things, etc...)
7.) Everyone is held accountable for their actions, words, behavior and attitude
8.) Traditions are highly valued
9.) Teaching and practicing financial literacy and good body health choices is a priority.
10.) Time spent with each other is valued more than things
1.) We are strong Advocates for each other
2.) We are close with extended family, we get to spend lots of time with our cousins.
3.) We are active in the community
4.) We work on our kindness and thinking outside ourselves every day
5.) We have High expectations for everyone
6.) We teach and practice gratitude (three good things, etc...)
7.) Everyone is held accountable for their actions, words, behavior and attitude
8.) Traditions are highly valued
9.) Teaching and practicing financial literacy and good body health choices is a priority.
10.) Time spent with each other is valued more than things
Sunday, June 19, 2016
On being a Dad (by Leo Babauta)
On Being a Dad
By Leo Babauta
Being a dad is messy … not just the many spills and broken dishes and dirty kitchens and finger-painted walls you have to clean up, but messy because nothing ever goes as planned.It’s messy because you start out with the best of intentions, hoping to be super dad and loving and perfect, and then it all goes to hell.
Things get said, tempers flare, feelings get hurt, you get mad at each other. Kids never turn out as planned, and neither does your life. You hope for one thing, and get a wonderful mess in return. How I love the mess I’ve gotten.
I never planned to be the dad of six kids. I had two with my first wife, and I love them desperately. I married my second wife, and inherited two more, and I love them with all my heart. Then we made two more, and I love them all so much I am overwhelmed when I let myself feel it.
Being a father is about uncertainty. You create a kid, and you are flooded with uncertainty, because you don’t know how to do any of this. You don’t know how your kids will turn out, and you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. All of a sudden, you’re up to bat, and the pressure is on you, not just to provide, not just to keep a fragile human being alive, but to be their role model, to shape them, to make them happy. And none of it comes with a manual.
They have problems, like a kid teased them at school, or bullied them, they’re struggling with motivation or boredom or fitting in … and you don’t know how to deal with any of it. You try your best, but in the end you don’t know. It’s filled with uncertainty.
This uncertainty can be terrifying. You’re not just playing a video game here, these are real lives you’ve been given to steward. Your heart is flooded with the fear of uncertainty, and you don’t admit to yourself that you’re scared.
So how do you make it through this uncertainty? The dad way is to try to find certainty: come up with a solution, fix things, create a system, teach them a method, create lists, be on top of it. This is all an illusion, because even after your systems and methods, you still don’t know crap. It’s still uncertain.
The only way through uncertainty is love.
Being a dad is about uncertainty, but it’s also about love. You are scared witless, and yet you make it through all of this because you love them endlessly, you are undone by your love for them.
You do whatever you can for them, despite the fears, amidst the uncertainty, because you love them.
You aren’t alone, of course. You are joined in this uncertain journey by their loving mother(s), who are amazing and who bear the brunt of the burdens and messiness and uncertainty. You have their loving grandparents, their aunts and uncles, everyone around you helping these kids through life, helping you deal with the uncertainty. The love of all these wonderful people help you through.
In the end, they grow up and become adults, and then the uncertainty only increases. You don’t know how they’ll deal with life, but you know they’ll be amazing, because they too have learned to live amidst the uncertainty anchored in the unending groundlessness by their love.
Happy Father's day to the Dad who loves us through the real and the uncertainty and the mess :)
Thursday, June 09, 2016
10 things Thursday
10 things I can do to show I care.....
1.) Show up for their important days
2.) exercise together, take interest in their interests.
3.) listen
4.) do what I say I am going to, be loyal.
5.) be the one to make the plans.
6.) call or text, ask how their day was.
7.) Do their laundry (or something else extra) :)
8. tell them I care, that they are important, that they are doing good, and how proud of them I am.
9.) give little gifts, leave notes, surprise them.
10.) ask them how I can help.
1.) Show up for their important days
2.) exercise together, take interest in their interests.
3.) listen
4.) do what I say I am going to, be loyal.
5.) be the one to make the plans.
6.) call or text, ask how their day was.
7.) Do their laundry (or something else extra) :)
8. tell them I care, that they are important, that they are doing good, and how proud of them I am.
9.) give little gifts, leave notes, surprise them.
10.) ask them how I can help.
Thursday, June 02, 2016
10 things Thursday
1.) The End of year is fast approaching and Were' all a little bit checked out from school. Kids going to bed between 9 and 10, scraping up things for lunches (why don't you just get hot lunch another day), the sign up geniuses, and requests for field trip volunteering get a quick archive in the gmail. We're just done.
2.) My oldest baby is graduating from 8th grade on June 10th. HIGH SCHOOL next year. The beginning of the end. Oh, the anxiety. I'm so worried I'm running out of time to teach him everything I want to, but I know time is not going to slow down for anyone. Because I have never done this before, of course I worry about him the most. Teenagers- I'm too new to this game to give any advice there....I loved this one (Soulemama)
Did I argue with my teenager this morning about chores not being done, about pushing boundaries too far, about respect and dating and family expectations? Or did I spend a long morning chatting about politics with a thoughtful, engaged and insightful young man, only to drop him off with his friends and overhear him speak kindly and compassionately to his peers and sweetly to his girlfriend and confidently to his teacher….all leading to me to believe he’s going to be just fine? Likely BOTH of those things at once. The teen years – like all other years, though perhaps amplified more than other years – is full of SO MUCH. There are incredibly challenging moments, and incredibly beautiful ones too. But without a doubt, I have to tell you that I LOVE having teenagers. For certain, I have feared these years, thinking it was far easier when I could just tuck them into the sling, or breastfeed a crying child, or chase away the worries of the world with just the right bedtime lullaby. And to a degree, that’s true.
But, oh, how amazing it is to parent these growing people! How much I learn from them, am stretched by them constantly to grow, and reevaluate my own thinking about the world. They do not overnight turn into the scary monsters that the culture and media would have us believe. They’re the same souls they were before they hit puberty, and our connection to one another as a family remains as strong as it ever was, only deepening with time. They still need us as parents – it’s just that it’s late night conversations in the kitchen instead of the lullabies. It is a true joy to watch them becoming more and more of who they are each day and each year. And a total gift to realize that not only do we love them (of course), but we really actually like them a whole lot too!
3.) It's official. J is changing Jobs to a company who hopefully will reward his talent a little bit better. This guy is business savy (and leaving to go onto bigger and better things within 5 years is pretty much the career track for his current company). His new company is based in Seattle, but we are staying put for now. We are all looking forward to having him home a bit more. The last three years were hard on him and all of us. He is the engaged Dad who loves to play pass in the yard after school. Being away was not his wheelhouse, even if he did get to travel the world. As we speak we're stressfully trying to work out the details of insurance, start dates and summer plans. We're getting out into the community and our calendar is getting filled with friend gatherings :)
4.) The oldest boy loves old time 80s rock. He's got Guns and Roses on the top of his pre-game sych up playlist. He also injured his leg in last weeks BIG game (in the warm up!), and didn't get to play, his heart was broken. But he is handling it ok and is confined to practicing in the yard for now.
5.) In response to all the "noise" being posted about parenting over the last week, a good Friend of mine posted this on her FB page:
We are also lucky to have supportive families and friends, a safe and close knit neighborhood, and enough money to spend on the parenting books that are currently collecting dust on the shelf. I'm going to read them as soon as things slow down a little around here.
Until then, fellow parents, I will stand with you as we all marvel at the wonders that are our collective offspring and try not to make any mistakes that the psychotherapy fund won't cover.
Should you find yourself in a big parenting fix, I will offer my support and I will count on you to do the same. We are all in this beautiful, unpredictable, joyous, and heart stretching thing together after all. #ittakesavillage
6.) The girl is 11 going on 25. She sleeps in like it's her job. Her favorite sayings are "JK" and "same" and "I KNOW mom, (with a hand and a little eye roll". she is ridiculous independent. She is currently planning her end of year sleepover with all her friends. She has Big dreams. More alike than different.
7.) Because. Momastery.
http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/07/quit-pointing-avocado/
8.) So much stuff getting done at the house. A new front lawn that waters itself. New garage doors. Porch steps, check. deck stained. A little retail therapy in fixing some things that have bugged us for the last 10 years.
9.) The littlest boy ended up quitting lacrosse 2 weeks into the season and we let him. Keeping it real, the schedule was too much for me with both boys and he wasn't really into it. We decided he is going to take a good long activity BREAK. If he begs to do something, we might consider it into next year. He's coming home after school and watching videos (until we yell at him to put it away and come downstairs) and then inventing new marble tracks and trying out his new roller blades. He doesn't much care for doing homework, but we let the teacher take care of those consequences. He makes his own meals for dinner b/c he doesn't like anything. He seems happy with life right now and we're good with that.
10.) The garden is planted! The pool is open! Each year my motivation gets revived but I'm a little more realistic about what will actually grow and what I can maintain. The yellow lilac that my Grandmother gave me bloomed for the first time. The warm winter will make for an abundant fruit tree season for the peaches and apples. I can't wait. Early evening walks in the yard are the best. I'm so grateful for the constant inspiration my kids give me. Someday, these will be the good old days......
While pretty much everything I intentionally read encourages a slow, purposeful, pared down lifestyle, sometimes that advice–or too much of it, at least–creates the same kind of stress for me as a fast and full and cluttered life. Because it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Sometimes our life is fast and full and cluttered, not because we make bad choices or have the wrong priorities, but because it just is. For little windows of time. So I open up those windows, accept them for what they are, and learn to take slow breaths on fast days. Find pockets of peace among the crazy, create them when I can, but hold my hands up roller coaster style and laugh when the world is rushing by quickly, knowing the ride will slow down soon. And when I get really good at this, I can read the slow living advice and take in the parts that inspire me. And I can wave to my meditating, tea-sipping friend who sold all her belongings to live a more purposeful life on a farm where she turns clay into pottery and sheep wool into blankets (when she’s not doing yoga or writing poetry)–and know that each of our lives are good and meaningful, and we’re both doing the best damn job we can.
-Kelle Hampton
2.) My oldest baby is graduating from 8th grade on June 10th. HIGH SCHOOL next year. The beginning of the end. Oh, the anxiety. I'm so worried I'm running out of time to teach him everything I want to, but I know time is not going to slow down for anyone. Because I have never done this before, of course I worry about him the most. Teenagers- I'm too new to this game to give any advice there....I loved this one (Soulemama)
Did I argue with my teenager this morning about chores not being done, about pushing boundaries too far, about respect and dating and family expectations? Or did I spend a long morning chatting about politics with a thoughtful, engaged and insightful young man, only to drop him off with his friends and overhear him speak kindly and compassionately to his peers and sweetly to his girlfriend and confidently to his teacher….all leading to me to believe he’s going to be just fine? Likely BOTH of those things at once. The teen years – like all other years, though perhaps amplified more than other years – is full of SO MUCH. There are incredibly challenging moments, and incredibly beautiful ones too. But without a doubt, I have to tell you that I LOVE having teenagers. For certain, I have feared these years, thinking it was far easier when I could just tuck them into the sling, or breastfeed a crying child, or chase away the worries of the world with just the right bedtime lullaby. And to a degree, that’s true.
But, oh, how amazing it is to parent these growing people! How much I learn from them, am stretched by them constantly to grow, and reevaluate my own thinking about the world. They do not overnight turn into the scary monsters that the culture and media would have us believe. They’re the same souls they were before they hit puberty, and our connection to one another as a family remains as strong as it ever was, only deepening with time. They still need us as parents – it’s just that it’s late night conversations in the kitchen instead of the lullabies. It is a true joy to watch them becoming more and more of who they are each day and each year. And a total gift to realize that not only do we love them (of course), but we really actually like them a whole lot too!
3.) It's official. J is changing Jobs to a company who hopefully will reward his talent a little bit better. This guy is business savy (and leaving to go onto bigger and better things within 5 years is pretty much the career track for his current company). His new company is based in Seattle, but we are staying put for now. We are all looking forward to having him home a bit more. The last three years were hard on him and all of us. He is the engaged Dad who loves to play pass in the yard after school. Being away was not his wheelhouse, even if he did get to travel the world. As we speak we're stressfully trying to work out the details of insurance, start dates and summer plans. We're getting out into the community and our calendar is getting filled with friend gatherings :)
4.) The oldest boy loves old time 80s rock. He's got Guns and Roses on the top of his pre-game sych up playlist. He also injured his leg in last weeks BIG game (in the warm up!), and didn't get to play, his heart was broken. But he is handling it ok and is confined to practicing in the yard for now.
5.) In response to all the "noise" being posted about parenting over the last week, a good Friend of mine posted this on her FB page:
We are also lucky to have supportive families and friends, a safe and close knit neighborhood, and enough money to spend on the parenting books that are currently collecting dust on the shelf. I'm going to read them as soon as things slow down a little around here.
Until then, fellow parents, I will stand with you as we all marvel at the wonders that are our collective offspring and try not to make any mistakes that the psychotherapy fund won't cover.
Should you find yourself in a big parenting fix, I will offer my support and I will count on you to do the same. We are all in this beautiful, unpredictable, joyous, and heart stretching thing together after all. #ittakesavillage
6.) The girl is 11 going on 25. She sleeps in like it's her job. Her favorite sayings are "JK" and "same" and "I KNOW mom, (with a hand and a little eye roll". she is ridiculous independent. She is currently planning her end of year sleepover with all her friends. She has Big dreams. More alike than different.
7.) Because. Momastery.
http://momastery.com/blog/2014/01/07/quit-pointing-avocado/
8.) So much stuff getting done at the house. A new front lawn that waters itself. New garage doors. Porch steps, check. deck stained. A little retail therapy in fixing some things that have bugged us for the last 10 years.
9.) The littlest boy ended up quitting lacrosse 2 weeks into the season and we let him. Keeping it real, the schedule was too much for me with both boys and he wasn't really into it. We decided he is going to take a good long activity BREAK. If he begs to do something, we might consider it into next year. He's coming home after school and watching videos (until we yell at him to put it away and come downstairs) and then inventing new marble tracks and trying out his new roller blades. He doesn't much care for doing homework, but we let the teacher take care of those consequences. He makes his own meals for dinner b/c he doesn't like anything. He seems happy with life right now and we're good with that.
10.) The garden is planted! The pool is open! Each year my motivation gets revived but I'm a little more realistic about what will actually grow and what I can maintain. The yellow lilac that my Grandmother gave me bloomed for the first time. The warm winter will make for an abundant fruit tree season for the peaches and apples. I can't wait. Early evening walks in the yard are the best. I'm so grateful for the constant inspiration my kids give me. Someday, these will be the good old days......
While pretty much everything I intentionally read encourages a slow, purposeful, pared down lifestyle, sometimes that advice–or too much of it, at least–creates the same kind of stress for me as a fast and full and cluttered life. Because it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Sometimes our life is fast and full and cluttered, not because we make bad choices or have the wrong priorities, but because it just is. For little windows of time. So I open up those windows, accept them for what they are, and learn to take slow breaths on fast days. Find pockets of peace among the crazy, create them when I can, but hold my hands up roller coaster style and laugh when the world is rushing by quickly, knowing the ride will slow down soon. And when I get really good at this, I can read the slow living advice and take in the parts that inspire me. And I can wave to my meditating, tea-sipping friend who sold all her belongings to live a more purposeful life on a farm where she turns clay into pottery and sheep wool into blankets (when she’s not doing yoga or writing poetry)–and know that each of our lives are good and meaningful, and we’re both doing the best damn job we can.
-Kelle Hampton
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