24 March

 Right now....
spring is nowhere in sight.  no.where.  froze my face off on my walk into work yesterday.  Kevin, that house in Nicaragua is not looking so bad after all. 

He's been working for close to 2 years on this song.  I can't wait to hear him play it all the way through. 

WE had a mom and daughter date last week.  Shopping,dinner and Dance class.  She's so, so fun this one.  and FUNNY!  So happy just to be with you.  Everything I originally thought about how life was going to be with her was wrong....."having a kid with down syndrome is well....kind of just like having a kid."

looking forward to seeing Cinderella soon....

She always want to take selfies at the bus stop. 

Again,,,,Spring, is no where in sight. 

     Say one day, you spend some time making a favorite dinner for your loves.  You spend all day shopping for the perfect ingredients, cooking, and baking.  Four courses.  Only, it wasn't their favorite dinner, it was yours.  You didn't spend one solitary second researching and learning what was their favorite or how to make it.  So you felt frustrated and sad when the dinner you worked so hard on wasn't greeted with extreme joy.   How much your soul wanted them to like that dinner.  Couldn't they see how hard you had worked on it?  Cause it was all about you, right? Life with big kids is a little bit like that. 
  
Last week was another trying week for L, another bout of not feeling well and missing some school.  A lot of worries all around.  Maybe a little bit too much reacting on each end.  We're on a path, a journey per say with all of them.  Some of the journey involved grieving a diagnosis.  Some involves grieving expectations vs. reality.  How my vision of family and fun and relationships is not theirs.

 I am learning, and I am a work in progress.  Kindness hasn't always come naturally for me.  Being strong,successful and competitive was often at the  top of the list.  None of that really matters, now, though.  A good friend talks about her late father in that the single most important memory she has of him was that he showed up (Always), and loved her as she truly was, not what he thought her potential could be.  As I think about the above story I realize that my love at times has been self-serving.  I am happy that I have tomorrow and that my heart can still be teachable change to move toward kindness.   I am happy that I will leave expectations behind me and love and cherish them all for who they truly are.  My new Parenting Mantra....Just show up (always), love them, be their biggest fans,  and Expect Nothing. 

 Spending extra time with those who truly "get us" helps.

 

 the most valuable nugget I hang on to in parenting, shaped by the circumstances I’ve experienced thus far and applicable to everything in life, and that is…
Expect Nothing.
To give your child the best possible start, go into the arena of motherhood with a clear mind and an open heart. Do not expect parenting to look like the perfect pictures in magazines or mirror the social media feeds of other moms. Don’t rely on the books on your nightstand but rather on the pen in your hand—write your own unique story of motherhood as you go. Write it together, pen your stories, be open for edits and rewrites, twisting plots, heartache, character flaws and love because every good story, above all, has love.

-Kelle Hampton

23 March

 The weekend lens..... The big eigth Birthday party

 WE had two friends from class and cousins come and that was just right for him. 

 Love this girl.

 Seeing him smiling and laughing and having fun (even when he's pushing the limits a little bit)  it's what I live for

So happy that the Grandma's could come.  I'm sure this girl will never ever forget, like ever for her whole life doll playing with Great-Grandma.  B asked to go to great grandmas house the very next day in fact.  Love.  Saturday night we had a fun sleepover with K and the cousins.  I love that the cousins are really the best of friends and they never want their visits to be over.  We shared dinner, wine, fun  new favorite TV shows and a lot of laughs.  We made a tentative plan to open a bed and breakfast in Nicaragua (K, as long as you  got the kids schooling, think free range).   Sunday, we had a much needed day at home, making time and space to breathe, stay in PJ's all day, finish up a few projects and get a head start on the week.  Exactly what we needed. 

3-21

Happy World down Syndrome Day!  Turns out the third copy of the 21st chromosome (3-21) meant a lot of extra love, joy and happiness for our family! 
In honor of the day, I'll share a couple of videos....enjoy!

17 March

 Happy St. Pattys Day Y'all!  Picked up a special treat for him.

 I happened to pass by L's art displayed the hallway at school. 

Loved the new art in the Dr's office.  :) 

16 March

The weekend lens.....
the second weekend in a row if the Divide and conquer.  The big boys went to swimming states a few hours North.  They had a blast hanging with friends, going out to eat and staying in a hotel.  T blew all his times out of the water.  I couldn't be more proud and he couldn't be more excited.

 The rest of us hung out at home.....L worked on a school career presentation and played with some of his new Birthday toys. 

And played a bball game.   And ended up having a quick feverish type of cold Saturday night

12 March

My Dearest L,

Eight years old....EIGHT!  Seems like a lifetime ago, yet yesterday that you came home to make our family of five complete.  You make us laugh with your funny, crazy and sometimes gross boyish sense of humor.  You bring us to our knees with your unyielding determination.  Sometimes, we struggle to find our way.  You teach us patience, and to look at things through your most curious eyes.  You are such a happy, creative,  interesting, and sometimes jaw dropping part of what makes our family complete.  I hope this day is as amazing as you are.  Never, ever stop being who you are...Love you buddy!  XoXo,

Mom

11 March

Trees are tapped.  I'm not optimistic about this year given we kept to just the two trees (and there is nothing in the  buckets yet).  Its still a fun learning process for the kids and I love that this one loves to go and "check the sap" every day which leads to a lot more creative outdoor play in the feet of snow we still have out back (sigh).  A few warm days....and hopefully we will have some sap!

 And tonight...more swimming.....a middle school meet at my old stomping ground.  Hard to believe the store we used to walk to to buy junk after practice (we were starving!)  is still there, and has the same name!  Then off to the PPSC cupcake rally where all the swimmers who qualified for states are recognized.  They got posters, their state meet caps and made up cheers. So, so fun!  One more big meet to go!

10 March

 The weekend lens.......It was the weekend of the divide and conquer.  one parent here, antother there.  Two ships passing in the night I tell you, but all for the good stuff.  L had his first Pinewood Derby.  His design was a solar car.  He did great for his very first time out and had a lot of Fun.

 Sunday.......J, B and L headed up to Sunday River while T and I slept over uncle Kevin's and went to yet another swim meet.  The final qualifier.  T killed it qualifying for the Junior Olympic State meet in two more individual events.  We are all swim all the time right now and he is loving it.  All his swim team friends (and parents) are great.  Love this sport where kids can learn the value and pay off of hard work.  Keeping it real, it's a real struggle on family life sometimes getting him to practice every day, but Great for life skills.  

4 March

 Right now.......

L started Basketball.  He complained about the fact that he had wanted to sign up and then seemed to change his mind.  He loved and it really good a shooting, plus his Best Buddy is on the team (which leads to auto playdates after practice).  He's psyched.

 B had her cardiology check up.  A little harder this time as she was very anxious about the doctor in general and whatever tests they are going to do.  Minnie went first of course.  Thankfully we are still on the every two year check up plan.  Phew. 

 Her Dance costumes came in.  She loves it.  This one is for ballet. 

 They had a girl scout glow Dance Friday night.  So social this girl, she is just soaring right now. 

 They decided to pull the bikes out on Saturday.  We are in serious denial that Spring is still very far away. 

 J had a trip this week and did some skiing in Colorado for "work"  Of course the girl flooded him with her usual cards when he got home (she had me make one too).  She makes cards for everyone now. 

 This boy qualified for states in the the 100 IM  last weekend.  States is in two weeks.  He also joined the Middle school team (season is only a month long). I was the teary eyed mom in the stands just beaming about the great race he swam.  Love that. 

 Hard to breathe at 11,000 feet.

and about the laundry (and regular blogging....sigh)  I am perpetually behind on everything at home.  The kids need us more than ever.  It was easier to sneak in a load when they were newborns it seems.  No, it never gets easier, parenting.  Just different.  Big kids=bigger problems.  More advice, more parenting.  Navigating middle school in a technological age. Navigating getting help when we need it.  Letting go of the stress and frustration with  a precious child with an unyielding determination, and the time and energy it takes to channel it into all the beautiful things he will accomplish someday.   These are the great years, but also the hard years.  The "I'm doing this because I love you and I want you to grow up to be a good kind person" years.  The time for phone calls and mommy friend playdates are pretty much non-existent years.  The holy crap we we are running out of time to do all the family things we have dreamed about years.  And the gym....I might have to ask Siri directions to there the next time I go.  I'm better at forgiving myself now, though, for all the mess ups.  For the asking for helps.  Thankful for the do-overs tomorrow gives us and that somehow the love we have for our kids will be enough to funnel into them making good choices someday.  If I wrote down the one thing I wanted to accomplish in life, this would be it.  I'm all in.  They will be alright.