Week in the Life Monday Photos and Words

 Welcome to a week in my life......this week I'm playing along with Ali Edwards in documenting the mundane, the joy, the struggles all while just trying to keep it real (including photos of my not in my best shape self in my PJs). 

To begin, I'm going to quote Ali as I begin as I say.....
Please remember, as I share these photos with you, this week, that this is my life. These are my moments and my stories and my real emotions and feelings. Please remember that we all have pain and we all have great joy. Please remember that real life is just that, it's real - which is often messy and most of the time doesn't fit into a simple little box that is easily photographed.

Anyway, I've done this project (photos and blog documentation) quite a bit over the past few years, but I don't think I've ever completed an album. I alwatys look back over these words and photos a few yerars later and I'm absolutely in love with them.  This is the good stuff.  This is what they are going to remember.   I hope one day long after I am gone, there will be someone who will cherish the photos of me giving the goodnight kiss.  This is my gift to them. 

 The alarm went off super early for a just getting back from vacation day.

Homemade pot near the bed, flaslights beacuse we had lost power the night before.

 I can't wake up without a shower, sometimes I even shower before working out.  It's just part of the routine, even thogh generally I don't spend longer than 15 minutes getting ready.

 sometimes (usually daily) I step on the scale. 

Make up.

 They are all still sleeping when I leave for work.  He's leaving on a trip for Cali today so I won't see him again until Thursday.  Back to the grind.

 I can't wait to clean out the closet. Holy mess.

 She sleeps in his room every night. 

 I always put my phone near the stairs so I don't forget to bring it to work.

 teenagers sleep like logs. I recently brought out this quilt that my Nanny made for his room, I'm all into the handmades and items with a history right now for decorating.

 He always leaves his to do list on the counter......cause out of sight, out of mind.

 a Protien shake and unsweetened tea (I'm loving the cold brew tea bags this summer) for breakfast.

 There's always an "animal" or two left around.

 A few minutes to do the remaining of last night's dishes.  I'm a clean freak.

 I'm going back to a hand written planner for to do list (not so much for appoitments-still use my google calendar for that).  I like the physical feeling of crossing things off.  It's working out great so far. 

 I see the sunrise a lot on my way to work (except when it's pitch black).  I really do love being an early riser (If I could just get to bed earlier!)

 Lots of securitey here including fingerprint scanning.

 9 full hours includes eating lunch at my desk. 

 time to punch the clock.  I'm so tired by the afternoon.

 It's a walk to the car and blazing hot out today.

 Blazing hot for these parts.

 Preparing an early dinner when I get home, cause we have some school shopping to do this week in the evenings....next week on our days off we're spending the last few days of summer with friends, so this is all the time we got.  I'm making organic hot dogs (yes, there is such a thing, not sure they are healthier though!), watermelon and carrots.  usually it's a meat and raw fruit and veggie for meals these days.  Keeping it somple

 Fianlly getting around to writing those bday Thank you notes after being away for 2 weeks.

 We're trying a new chore system which cumulates with a family meeting at the end of each week.  I think I'll do a different post totally dedicated to that, but let';s just say that the kids had a huge part in deciding on a system that would work best for them and the family.  They decided on how the chores would be chosen each week, how we would keep track of it and what the consequences would be for not getting them done.  While I go into these things, thinking that it may be hard to keep up with such a complex system, and that everything is a work in progress, I'm finding the more choice and control that I give away to the kids, the more successful things are.  Collaboration for the win. 

 She loves helping out anyway (Yes, that's a chef's knife)

 There's always the daily swims in the pool.  He has made amazing progress with his swimmming this year.  Last year he was afraid to get his face wet.  Now he's swimming underwater and working on getting rid of the mask (for fear of getting water in his nose). 

 On our way to the store, SHE always has to do a seat dance in the car when ever her favorite songs come on (she gets embarrassed when you try and watch her though).  Joy.

 Checking out their lists and proce shopping. 

 The kids need to buy things for classroom use these days.  The schools are so strapped for money, it's really a sad sign of our times. 

 Yep.

 We always fill a backpack every year and drop it off for our local charity.  This year I added a lunchbox and waterbottle to my list of things I purchase. 

 So.....we got the boys their own debit master cards (not the girl b/c special needs children can't have money in their own name due to the state benefits and services they receive) and put a set amount on the card for all their school shopping.  Their allownace will go on there also and they will really have to use their own money (or a budgeted amount of money) for everything.  I wasn't sure how successful it would be, but I kept an open mind.  Seriously, it is the best.thing.ever.  Not only are they scrutinizing every purchase they make in terms of dollar amount, comaprison shopping etc....., but they are making sure all the items and clothes they purchase are theings that they truly love and are going to USE. I mean who wants to waste their OWN money.  Especially if they have money left over they can continue to save for the big items they want like a guitar or kyak.   Plus they are learning how to use a debit card machine and punch in their own Pin or sign etc... Yes, even the EIGHT year old.  It's never too early to start the conversations about how to be smart with money.  Really it takes years of practice and they don't teach this stuff in school.   Learning life skills for the win.

 Parking lot selfies. 

 I love me a fresh pack of Ticonderoga's

 Thrilled with his new pencil box. 

 Making plans witrh friends for a trip to the waterpark tomorrow. 

 Love that he still wants to sit with me on the couch in the evenings, and read or talk ro whatever.  Teenagers who want to spend time with their moms for the win.

 Brother's in the bathroom.  Oh the conversations.

 Girls who read.

 Not too old for the tuck in.

 a headlamp and sleeping with no shirt ("cause it's hot and faster to get dressed in the morning")

 Love.

Last minute social media read right before bed (I allow myself one check a day).  This one had me in stitches. 

Thoughts on raising a "Spirited" child

Thoughts on raising a spirited child........

1.)  Remember when mom said, "I hope someday you get a child just like you".....yeah, that.
2.)  Parenting is supposed to be hard.
3.)  Pick your battles (and be prepared to fight to the death with Nerf guns when you do decide to fight).
4.) Sometimes it's ok to lose your s#$%.  The world is not infinitely patient and kind.  Sometimes they need to learn that stuff at home.
5.)  Try as hard as you can not to lose your s#$%.  The more you can preserve and maintain a positive calm cool and collected relationship the better off you will be in preventing a meltdown.  Say, for example, your child says that not only does he get to pick his meals for all of vacation, but that the whole family MUST only eat what he likes, and then starts to cry.....instead of saying "You spoiled brat....do you know how many kids in this world don't even have food or vacations??" Say," Oh, I see you are feeling a little bit tired and hungry right now, let's sit and have a snack together and talk about this later..."  (Looks good on paper doesn't it?).
6.)  When said child is in his room quietly in bed at night reading, DO NOT bother him.  The minute you go in for that sentimental snuggle, you may not come out.
7.)  Try your hardest to support and "help" with the creative project of the day.  Even if you don't know how to do origami or sew a pair of PJ pants by hand.  Help them dream big.
8.)  Trying to get them to see their irrationality is a waste of time.  They think what they think and there is no changing their mind.
9.)  Try to keep their diet as good and free of sweets as possible.  A sugar crash is a terrible horrible thing.
10.) Even if you are brought to your knees a few times in a day or have locked yourself in your room, remember, you are doing the best that you can.  Let go of the guilt (your Mom did!) You are not damaging them for life.  Take some time to yourself. 
11.)  See and cherish their gifts.
12.) Give them choices whenever you can even about ridiculous things like "what should the consequence be for...."  When they think they are in charge they are so much more likely to comply.  Avoid power struggles like the plague.  They are genetically programmed to fight to the death on their opinion. 
13.) as far as sports /activities and school make decisions about these based on where you as parents think they will thrive which is not necessarily the norm.    It's also ok to be wrong, change your mind and try something new the next year.  There is really no making them do what they don't want to.  Taking the teacher our for drinks after the school year is done is also a very good idea. 
14.)  If they complain about their food have a strict one meal policy.  Just say politely that "You don't have to eat it".  They will eat eventually, or make their own dinner.
15.) Accept he/she for who they are, not who you imagined them to be, 
 16.) Everyday, remember that really your only task is to love them.  I promise I will do better tomorrow.
17.) See #2.   

18.)  Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.

Love you. Boy. 

8-8

Happy Birthday Grandma!  You are the most generous, kind, and optimistic person we know.  We hope your day is as special as you are! We love you!

signing off

Signing off for a week to head up to our little piece of heaven cabin on a pond in the woods  (our 6th year!).  At this time Sunday, I'll be sitting by the lake, book in my lap, viewing the sunset as I sip my favorite beverage and eat handfulls of honey nut chex mix like it's my job with my people.  See you in a week with lots of happy family photos and words to share! 

P.S make sure you keep scrolling down (and go back a page) to see all the new blog posts from the last few weeks :)

At the Shore....

 WE don't get down there as much as we could/should as we take it for granted that we are so close, but rarely do we get a night as amazing as this....low tide a sunset and barely a warm breeze.  The best night and walk on the beach I can remember that we have had in 15 years of living here.

Perfection.

Hello August......

In August, there is a shift in the wind as the early mornings get cooler and darker and we wonder where the summer has gone!

In August, There is a big boy at camp (who may or may not admit that he's a little homesick), that I CAN"T wait to pick up in the morning. 

 In August, There are some thunderstorm scared little boys.......

 the same little boys who devour 4-5 books a day (the same ones over and over)

 
In August there are thunderstorm scared doggies who need comforting with food, blankets,  room forts, and books.

 In August, There is some bathing suit corn husking......

 In August there are all day friend and sibling pool parties and blanket forts with keep out signs in the living room....

Sibling fights and sorry notes and make ups.....

In August, there are thoughts of cleaning house.  August and September are my purging, organizing go through every drawer and cabinet and closet in the house months....there is just something about a closing in on me new school year that inspires such nesting!  I am waking up just a little bit earlier (to spend as much time outside as possible!)  I've wanted to get up early and exercise before 7 all summer, but it took August to make it happen.  In August,  there is buying that new notebook or pack of pencils as I  wander the school supply section of target.  I have enough pencils and folders at home to run ky own clasroom, but who is counting?  I think they secretly pipe in some subliminal messages just to that isle so some 80s soft hits......(you NEED this new notebook, you NEED another drawer and closet organizer!).  What I NEED is to get out there for one more run or bike ride before it's too dark in the mornings and too cold.  Yeah, that, it's coming, WAAAAH! Oh, and  I'll keep you updated on the organizing and the kids getting ready for school in a later post.... 

An "ode" to her animals.....

Inspired by this post......I just HAD to document this ....these are important memories!  I don't think I've ever properly introduced you to her animals...after all they are a part of our family!  There is Mr. S.  the bear who is the teacher,  Minnie (Disney 2012....B insists minnie is 13 year old though), Miss Fancy 1 and 2 (unicorns with big eyes), New dog (old dog was lost at her cousins house),   Her newest cow "Lucy" who she just picked up in Vermont.  Last but DEFINITELY not least CAT, who has been replaced once with the EXACT same cat when old cat was left outside beyond repair.  Plus, for some reason he had tape over his mouth. 

These animals, daily and nightly act out every social situation (here they are lining up for recess) imaginable so she can practice her words (oh the great speech, and language understanding and ATTITUDE we hear...words like "annoying, and fantastic", and scolding for not doing the "right" thing!).  They lessen her anxities by nothing less than practicing and role playing(don't we all do that?).  They help her release the stress from the day, from having to hold it all together in live in a world so much older than she is capable. 

These animals  have been everywhere with us, they have had EKG's, and utrasounds. Taken a few trips around the washing machine, been buckled into a carseat,  and done OT.  They have been to summer school.  Hey, if they can do it, so can she!  They have sleepovers, birthdays and baths.  They have been lost and then found.  Each one is respected and loved for their own unique qualities and abilities!  ....plus now, she's added two "dollies" to the mix....an American Girl doll "Lila" who skiis and she tells her she does a "GREAT job" and "dolly".  She cares for them with a caring that most adult humans don't have for each other. 

Thanks for that reminder, B.   Remember this. :)

Thirteen (and a letter).

Dear T,

I'll spare you the sentimental "where has time gone?", but holy crap,  You are very much THIRTEEN.  yesterday, I held you in my arms for the first time, today you are a teenager.   My sweet, sensitive, smart and kind boy, you are at the beginning!  When you graduate the teenage years you will very much be on your own.  I wanted to make your birthday party as big and awesome as what I felt thirteen deserved, BUT, time got away from me (hey I'm brand new at this raising a tenager thing)and we had to settle for a quite evening and morning instead.....more your style I think.  I LOVED the bike ride.   I  LOVED that YOU loved the bike ride....AND most of all that you wanted to spend your birthday morning with ME.  I know and completely expect these days to fade.    I might get sad at times about it, but REALLY it's ok.  Even when you totally mess up, I'll be there cheering you on every step of the way.  I'll be your biggest fan, even when you hate me (and even when I dislike something you have done).  Just remember boy, life is VERY imperfect and You are imperfect.  Social media distorts that big time.  You don't need other people to validare you, you are already valuable.  No one is doing all and having all without struggles even if it appears that way.  Accepting your imperfection is a way toward an amazing peace. Work through struggles and hardships, take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  until then, learn what you can, use that great sense of humor of your and keep moving forward.  BOy, YOU are on your way.  I couldn't be prouder of the person you are becoming.  Somtimes boisterous, sometimes opinionated, sometimes amazing at getting out of work, but there isn't anyone else in the world I would rather ride bikes with, or sit and read on the couch with but you.  I am so thankful that I get to be on this journey called life with you (for a little while anyway).  I hope this day is as amazing as you are.  Keep doing what you do.

Love you forever,
Mom