
B. D. Gulledge : I used to sit on the banks with a raft and watch the water roll lazily by. One day I pushed my raft into the shallows of the water and found the water moved swifter than I thought. My raft was actually a boat. Then, after some time, I rowed my little boat into deeper water. There were great storms, mighty winds, tremendous waves, and sometimes I felt so alone. But I have noticed my little rowboat is now a mighty ship manned by my friends and loved ones; and beautiful calm seas, warm sunny days, and nights filled with comfortable dreams always double after a storm. Now, I could never go back and sit on the bank. In fact, I search for deeper water. Such is life when lived.
Ali's post yesterday about Autism really made me pause and reflect on OUR journey and where we have been and how we have changed. I can't believe how different my life is from what I expected it to be. Even though it still resurfaces at times, we can celebrate the fact that we have conquered the grief of not having the child that we expected. And we CAN have high expectations, but also keeping in mind what is REALLY possible. The great thing is though, the people we have come into contact through our journey. People we would have never normally met. We share the vulnerability we each inherited when our particular child was born to us. The automatic humbling that came to us, every one and out of it was created a kinship unlike any other but that pain can bring. The final proof of our humanity is in the non-comparing love we can show for our children and for each other. (**excerpt from DS News 2009#2). We are there to help each other out of that deep water.
What I really can't wait for is the day, Breanna, that you are fully talking. I can't wait to see how your mind works and all the thoughts that occupy your time. I can't wait to hear your questions and I can't wait to explain things to you and see your mind working to digest them. I can't wait to tell you about why the sky is blue and the grass is Green, I can't wait to hear your thoughts about the world and the things you love to watch. I can't wait to get to a place where your speech skills catch up with your obvious need to communicate. Until then, I can only be grateful for how far we have come to get to today, and how you have taught me patience. Good things come to those who can wait.