9 October

The value of Work.
This guy, he's my go-to-guy for all things chore related. He can load up, add the detergent  and start the washing machine by himself better than anyone else I know.  He loads and empties the dishwasher.  He answers the phone, he feeds the dog.  He rakes, he pulls weeds, all without a single complaint about it being "too hard"    I think it's just in the nature of a third child to be hard working, because if you want to keep up (It's pure survival I say) with your older brother who is 41/2 years older than you, you have to be willing to try, and never give up.  I just don't think it occurs to him that he can't do something.  That persistence can be exhausting for a parents sometime, but it's the stuff leaders are made of.  The other two take a bit more convincing,  The middle does a lot but is very erratic about understanding the task and when it needs to be done.  The oldest, yes.   It's going to take a lot of mean mom days, to get him to the level he needs to be at.  Just a function of us waiting too long to increase our expectations of him.  But, hard as it is, times do change my friend.  I will never, ever back down on this one, it's too important to me, and to them. Give them REAL work....and eventually REAL work for other people.

Ever since I've had children who could walk and talk, and most recently over the last year or two, I've had an agenda....an inspiration per se, to rid myself of the fact that 100% of the responsibilities around here fall on the grownups shoulders.  We usually start off great, with checklists and sticker chats and rewards and other stuff, but then I become so horrible about following through with it all.     I've most recently read this book and this one.  Hey, other people have some darn good ideas.  We're all in this together.   My take away message , that I want them to know (20 years from now if I'm here for them to thank me for all of this).  is that it's not about the actual task at hand, but there are so many other important lessons to learn.  Some of the memories that stick in my mind the most about growing up were the times that involved work.  My brothers and I having to bring in wood using only our sleds on a dark and cold January night (b/c we were fighting!)  It gives kids a sense of purpose and belonging.  That the world doesn't always revolve around them and their needs.  Kids thrive on high expectations.  Plus there is nothing better for self esteem than when one has completed something that they thought they could not do.  We will get there

It's pretty easy to protect and provide for our kids.  YOu keep them physically safe  give them an abundance of fun things to do, and the y grow up easily.  That's the American Way.  The better way is to prepare kids for independence  but that is a much harder task.  As they develop, we should slowly reduce the protection and provision, while increasing the preparation.  
~Andy Kerckhoff (Cleaning House)

And as with everything.....everything I do is done in love:)