Inspiring me today.

Read here.

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Mornings....

Tuesday is pick up day.

Tuesday is the day I always pick Trevor up at school.  It used to be because he had swimming lessons and it was nice to get home a little earlier before we had to go.  Now that lessons are over, it's just nice to see Trevor's smiling face coming down the hall at the end of the day and it's my day off anyway.  

     A lot of times, I like to bring Breanna with me to the school to practice walking holding hands in from the car and she LOVES to watch the buses and play on the playground.  A lot of other Mom's are there waiting to pick up their kids and you can tell that Breanna makes them a little uncomfortable at times (she is very LOUD usually when she tries to verbalize things).  I don't really care however, but it's hard for me to try to strike up a conversation with a Mom I don't really know because I feel like I don't really fit in with them.    I think it's more me than them b/c I see them walking out of school with their typically developing daughters and I sometimes look at them and wonder if Breanna will ever be there, running and playing with her friends, listening to her i-pod, or texting on her cell phone.  I can't help but feel a little sad about it.  Maybe that will get better with time, or maybe it won't.  

The weather was beautiful, sun shining, cool breeze blowing.  I see Trevor's bright shining face coming down the hallway to greet me.  Did you have a good day at school? , I asked, He said, Yeah, Can we play on the playground?  Sure, I said.  I asked Breanna if she wanted to play, she said, YEAH!, so off we went.  Trevor ran full speed with two of his buddies to the monkey bars.  and proceeded to fool around, standing on top, climbing and using their best potty-talk boy playground conversations with each other.  It is really a hoot to see.  

Breanna navigated the playground with ease, but hersometimes  funny walk and loud voice, some people would stare at her.  Then Trevor's friend said to him, Trevor your little baby sister is REALLY WEIRD!.  Trevor could have cared less and really just ignored the whole thing and went about playing and laughing.  But for me, I felt the lump come up into my throat.  This is just the beginning I thought.  This really caught me off guard.  Do I say something to the little boy explaining that Breanna has Down Syndrome and what that means?? or maybe his mom?  What would I even say?  I guess I haven't really prepared myself for this yet. I decided to ignore the whole thing and head toward home.   I felt that lump again, thinking of how long this journey will be through the school years, not just for me, but for my sons as well.  Now, I really don't expect a first grader to understand what Down Syndrome is, really.  But what scares me is the fact that there are so many older people out there who don't understand it at all.   Another scary thing is  now that Breanna is getting older,  others  are going to start having expectations of how she should be especially when they don't realize her disability. She's not just hidden at home anymore or at her special preschool.  I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for my boys.  They don't have the adult sense and reasoning skills yet.  How will it affect them when people make comments about Breanna to them, or don't want to visit the house because of her?  All I want is for her to run and play with her friends, and do the things that kids do.  I know it won't be easy, I don't expect life to be.  That is why it will be oh so great when I can look back on this post and know we have gotten there.....

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THe K-12 Art Show 2009.  I always LOVE this.

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Just loving this, it's so fun to see yourself through the eyes of a six year old (well six and three quarters to be exact!)

Mother's Day 5 K and Kids 1K Fun Run

Just super fun.....I'm hooked (and tired too)!

Enjoy the pics!

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Mother's Day 2009

• Suprised with tea in bed and Trevor's homemade cards and gifts
  
• Ran my first 5 K ever!
  
• A HUGE omlet breakfast
• a trip to Lowe's
• relaxing,reading magazines and  a having a BBQ dinner
• Josh doing everything (thanks honey!)
• A nice walk with the boys
• lots of playing, hugs and kisses
• pretty much the best day ever.

On Mothering.

Now.

                                                         And then,  My first Mother's Day, May 2003

No One ever told me.......

How hard and incredible this mothering experience would be

how much I would change with each child

That I could be perfectly happy with a life that didn't turn out at all how I had expected.  

That the fear, worry and responsibility would drive me crazy sometimes.

That I would always wonder if I was doing the right thing....

That I would put my heart and soul and every fiber of my being into this job and still love it.

That I  would forget what a full night's sleep felt like and still be fine.

That you guys would be fine if I didn't do everything perfectly.

That you would love me no matter what my mistakes were.....

This poem touched my heart:

For my kids....... (By Karin from here.)

Sometimes I miss you while you are sleeping
And I wonder if I looked at your eyes enough today
Or hugged and kissed you enough
Or made you laugh enough

Sometimes I miss you while you're at school
And I wonder if I made the right choice to keep working
Or if I should have stayed home
Or been your at-home teacher

Sometimes I miss you while you're taking a time-out
And I wonder if I'm being too hard on you
Or if I'm fighting the right fights
Or giving the right discipline

Sometimes I miss you while I'm making your dinner
And I wonder if you notice that I pour my love into every meal
Or if you'd rather I order in and spend time with you
Or invite you to the kitchen to help

Sometimes I miss you while you're playing in the other room
And I wonder if I should come play with you
Or make up a new game
Or teach you my favorite one

Sometimes I miss you while you're right next to me
And I wonder what it will be like when you've grown up
Or when you go away to college
Or when you visit on the weekends with my grandkids

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I could stop time
And play with you and savor you and love you
Or hold you until my arms don't feel the impending emptiness
Or talk to you until there is nothing left to say

Love you guys....most of all for making me a Mom and the person I am today.  

Happy Mother's Day , Mom and to all the Amazing Moms I know.  Motherhood is a gift, let's celebrate!

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Just hanging out on the back deck with a little Play-doh, a little potty training, a few beverages, an awesome steak sandwich, an unexpected flower delivery:), and a great walk to our favorite ice-cream place.  Gotta LOVE Saturdays in May.,....

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Just and ordinary walk on the marsh on an ordinary day. The highlight was throwing rocks off the bridge and looking for birds. Peaceful.

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Thursdays.

It's the get ready for the weekend day (since it's my day off) and chore day.  Meal Planning, grocery list making, laundry doing, bathroom cleaning, errand running, etc, etc.....  My system for planning meals has worked really well for us for about the past 4-5 years.  We make a menu for the week and try to mix up recipies from new magazines and our old standbys depending what is going on that week and when the work days and sports practices are.  Then I make a grocery shopping list (divided by isle) for the big shopping trip on Friday mornings (my crazy day).  Usually this helps me not to forget  anything, although there is usually another shopping/errand day on Tuesday to pick up a few more fresh things and household items.  I'm looking forward to taking part in our brand new Farmer's market this year, we have already bought into a share from a local farm.  This week is dreary and rainy, but Summer is coming.....

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rocks + puddle + worms = hours of little boy fun ("Look at this Mama!")

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Blue Point Spring concert 2009.  These group of kids were just so enjoyable.  Stay tuned for more pics and video:)

Blue point Spring Concert

Theme: Songs form around the world.....  Enjoy!

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You at two:

Your newest word, "Of Course!"

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 Some birds enjoying dinner on the feeder (boy do they eat ALOT!).

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The first big game.

And after we accidentally left our hat and glove at the field and Lucas didn't get a good nap in....well the day just went downhill from there.  Thank god tommorrow is a new day!

the look.

I wonder where she gets this look from?!?

life is too short.

I have missed a few weeks at the gym--school vacation, crazy work schedule (I know, excuses). When I got back today there were signs all over that one of the instructors (who I had been taking classes from for at least 5 years) was killed tragically and they were raising money for her children. This is what happened. Please Pray for those girls. It is so sad to see someone taken out of your life that you knew, but didn't really know. It really makes you think. Thank you God for this day, and that I can go home and hug my kids tonight and tommorrow.....

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One of my favorite summer salads.